27 Apr 2010

Trip to Bath (Part 3)

The long awaited final part to the story is here!

I awoke early (11am) as the morning sun gently awoke me and I became aware of the horrible pain in my back from sleeping on a very "zippy" pair of jeans (I must have been very tired to have fallen asleep on these) and also more slowly becoming aware that I had to pee worse than I have ever needed to before in my entire life.

After evacuating my bladder (in the toilet), an ordeal that took the best part of  5minutes (it just wouldn't stop) I came back to Duffields room and listened to Karys read diary entries on our personal blog, followed by reading comics until the others arose at 1pm, we grabbed a quick breakfast. (I chose to go for an organic onion barge / falafel thing, which I thought to be the student-y looking option, it wasn't bad, I was pleasantly surprised) and then Me and Alan said our goodbyes to Duffield and caught the two buses back to the park and ride (with almost no waiting around at all between buses, the 1st one was late but we weren't in any kind of rush so it didn't really bother us) on the 1st bus we some "yuppies" wearing super dry shirts and shorts, those logoed slip flops and real live ray-bahn wayfarers, we decided that these people were not cool, and some how having real wayfarers made them 'even' less cool.

Upon getting to the car Me and Alan stuck in the "n-words be trippin'!" special mix tape and began the long journey home, it was only 4pm so we were confident we would be home in plenty of time to laze about shower etc and possibly even go out for a drink afterwards, the world was our oyster!

or so we thought

We turned left out of the Park and ride and due to the indicator flashing at an alarming rate we realise that I had left the rear light unplugged in the boot (the reason for this is that my car has a fault whereby if the light is left plugged in while the car is parked the licence plate light remains on all he time, flattening the battery) so after driving a few miles to find a layby we pulled in I unlocked the boot and plugged in the light. no fuss no muss. I closed the boot, and as I was doing so, saw the glint of my keys in the boot just as the lid slammed shut, I pressed the button to unlock the boot... nothing happened the button depressed and came back up but the boot did not open, it was locked.

"but how?" I hear you cry "you said you unlocked the boot in order to get in it to plug in the light!"

ah yes readers, but, it turns out that if you put the key in my boot and press the button the boot lid will open, but lock again the next time you close it, you have to rotate the key in a proper fashion to unlock the boot permanently (ah those clever Germans)

Alan and I set about taking the car to pieces to get into the boot (turns out the boot of my car is some kind of impenetrable fortress) and so after several phone calls to my parents (and shelling out £112) a repair/recovery bloke turned up (me and alan in the meantime (a few hours) watched iron man on Alans Laptop, as Alan said "Truly we live in the age of the grotesque!") and took apart the car in the same manner we had attempted earlier, but with the added success of removing the speaker covers, through these holes I was able to reach in and retrieve my keys (it was near 6pm at this point)

I took Alan back to the park and ride as he had to stay in bath to catch a train to Aberdeen due to the grounded flights due to that volcano... thing, and then Drove home (taking the odd route via Bristol city centre and Narnia) involving stopping for fuel twice, due to my car using a colossal amount of fuel. and driving the last few miles eating crisps in a frenzied state of hunger and desperation holding the pack between my legs as I drove.

I arrived home at 10pm ish needless to say I did not go out for a drink, I went to bed very very tired from the weekend.

Immediately after this weekend it seemed like the worst weekend that could have happened ever, nothing spectacularly good happened at any point, and some spectacularly bad things did happen, but in hindsight there were good times all the way through (regardless of spectacle) and the bad things were hilariously bad to the point where we could right 1/2 a bad American sitcom about them. All in all I had an amazing weekends with my original trio of friends. You guys are awesome.

Road trip anyone?

26 Apr 2010

Trip to Bath (Part 2a)

so after the juggling and the drinking we got back into Duffield's house without to much messing about, and managed to lose a few hours just talking and listening to music (and a quick phonecall to my lovely fiancĂ©e) and then it was time for dinner from the "MEGA BITE BALLS" I had scampi and chips (the classic safe option) and Alan and Duffield had DONNER KEBABS DICKS. The sizes for these were as follows: 1) medium, 2) large and 3) Extra Large, we argued that this was essentially small medium and large re-named in a misleading fashion, so Alan ordered a large believing it to be a medium in disguise, Duffield ordered a medium (knowing otherwise)
It was the first time I have ever seen Alan not finish a meal. This merriment was followed by graffiti-ing  every paper surface in the kitchen (hence the Mega Balls menu)

Rice Crispies became "Hitler Crispies" (it was later decided that Reich crispies would have been wittier, but we're not that smart) the Quaker oats box had a simple hitler 'tache drawn on the man, and nesquick became blitzkrieg (for some reason we were on a bit of a Nazi mood)

A poster for a black and white Italian cinema social poster also felt the wrath of our pens, where the man man of the poster was edited to a most formidable Alan shape, with uncanny similarity (the best part of this was it took people quite a long time to notice this after the blatant obviousness of the MEGA BALLS pamphlet.

We had been invited to a cocktail night across the... very small distance between Duffs house ans the house next door, but decided this was not for us, instead we went for the option of watching "REPO! the genetic opera" on Alan's Laptop. Mid way though we were joined by a fairly drunk Ollie but he remained fairly quiet, seemingly concentrating very hard on maintaining an upright seating position.

After the movie we decided to turn in, and after bullying Duffield for a while (we are so very good at it) by laying in his bed (his pet peeve) and making him go "rage" and hurt us in magical ways we didnt even know were possible (at one point I was in so much pain I grabbed Alans entire boob in one hand rather hard and was unable to let go)


we eventually settled on the floor and fell asleep (no-one vomited... well no-one that we were associated with, there may have been some vomit action on campus)

Just so you know

I Love Karys Munns!

22 Apr 2010

Trip to Bath (Part 2)

After the whole puking episode Me and Alan, arose later in the day to find Duffield had left for labs (he had told us he was going, he didn't just abandon us) we had some things to get from the car that we had left behind, and we had to deliver a package to Alan's brother who was coming to bath to collect it. (basically it was his Wii) so we set out, we caught a bus into town, bought a pasty, and found the park and ride bus with out too many problems. We collected our Items (A bottle of wine and my mobile phone) and headed home (I took a massive horrible dump at the public toilet, pretty bad experience felt like it was coming out sideways, however the loo paper at the bus station was softer than the paper at Duffield house)

We met Alans brother at the train-station, and set about a mini-mission to find a pug adapter, which resulted in a trip to currys were me and alan debated HD vs non HD Tvs and the stores obvious biases.
we headed back to the university and talked about various science-y and business-y things and had en epic foozball tournament in which Alan and I were thoroughly taken to school by Alans brother, with our best score being 4 - 6 (a respectable loss)

we talked of how Facebook has changed sociability until Duffield arrived back from a tutorial we went back to the house and grabbed a box of beer and some juggling equipment, we headed to the grassy area outside Duffields house around the sunbathing Psyjoe (thats his real name!) a guy with dreads (I think Alan should get dreads) who it tuns out is studying mechanical engineering (Me and Him had a slightly inebriated chat about the subject) for some juggling, light drinking and some basic gymnastics, Alan attempted a cartwheel and landed flat on his face (video on youtube soon!)

We then went to the Arena/Colosseum thing for more juggling, and watching some inhumanly nerdy people show us their skills (trust me these people have MAD skills when it comes to throwing and twirling things, like bespectacled ninjas) At this point we were locked out of the Duffield residence due to him leaving his key and wallet in his room, but we were not stressed about this as he had people on the inside and we had no intention of going back for a while.

more later (part 2a if you will)

Art and stuff

This is one of the images I have created for my art project, (looks like I stole it from the internet huh?)

The HeartBomb

19 Apr 2010

Trip to Bath (Part 1)

Last thursday Me and Alan Octavius O'Brien (or Alan Octavius O'Brien and I for the grammar-y people out there) hopped in Margaret the Mercedes, in order to take a weekend trip to see our good friend Duffield at uni in Bath.


What we did not realise was that we were in for a weekend, of torment and horror!

The trip started well enough, began with a tank full of fuel, and some road sweets, a set of mix-tapes a headband and some fake wayfarer sunglasses, what could go wrong?
We made it most of the way to Bath without any hiccups, (apart from bath not appearing on the map for quite a while) and stopped off near Bristol to get burgers, while at burger lord (tm) we phoned ahead to Duffield to tell him we were no more than an hour away and would see him soon, so he headed into town. (we also made up a story about being in a crash, and being at the police station, which we thought to be hilarious (oh the irony as big G would say)) 

We followed the signs for Bristol and I expected to see signs for the park and ride soon so we could avoid the Rat Race of Bath, but no such signs were seen, and before we knew it, we were slap bang in the centre of Bath (the worst place to drive EVER) after cruising around for a while we stopped to view a map and find the park and ride, this map was confusing and unreadable, so we cruised around some more looking for some form of sign. (by this time we were 30minutes overdue and Duffield was beginning to worry, however we were both somehow out of batter and or signal and therefore out of contact) whilst looking for somewhere to go we narrowly avoided running a red light, (with a police man behind us) and then seconds later, went the wrong way down a very busy intersection into oncoming traffic.

The police were not happy, the pulled along side us and produced their various badges TV style, and pulled us off the road to have a talk with us. (at this point I would like to mention that it was under Alan's suggestion that I pulled down this particular road, I should have know better than to take directions from 'the' Alan O'Brien) After threatening to take away my licence (and checking extensively that I hadn't stolen my beloved Margaret or neglected to insure her) they not only let us go with only a verbal warning (once again I avoid being on the police computer system!) they escorted us to the nearest park and ride as we were obviously to scared and pathetic to take care of ourselves in a big city.

We arrived at the park and ride (waved in by the officers) and parked just in time to see the last bus for Town pull away into the night.

So with all out luggage in hand we set off for the long walk to Bath city centre (1hr 30mins late at this point)
We finally got down to the town and called Duffield (just as he was about to leave and go home, apparently leaving us to shelter on the streets of bath until the next day) and got the bus to the Uni. 
Safe you might think, but no there was more. 

At the Uni we began drinking (after a nice meal of pasta expertly cooked by Duffield who proved to me you can boil bacon, which I didn't know was an option)
then went to the pub then came back and drank some more, some how we managed to convince Duffield to drink a leftover 1/2 bottle of Jack Daniels. (and this is what caused the problems later on) 
After a few more hilarious antics (one particular incident involving a 'serving' of pepper) Duffield retired early and drunkenly to bed. 

Me and Alan Finished our drinks and had a chat then followed him up. He looked so peaceful in his bed that me and Alan decided to join him and we all clambered onto the bed. After a small amount of gettin ourselves comfy we prepared to doze off..


we hear a disturbing gurgle from the Duffield below us, we leap of just in time for him to shoot undigested JD and un-chewed pasta all over the wall and pillow, (as well as a fair amount over himself) before falling asleep in this disgusting mess. Me and Alan horrified by the incident set up camp on the floor and slept in fits until 5am when Duffield Re-gained conciousness and scraped crusty vomit off his torso and set about showering and clearing his bed for the laundry he (now) had to do. 

and thus began our second day in Bath. (the joys haha)
.. stay tuned more of this story of Horror and Degradation, in parts 2 and 3, to be blogged later 

As you may have already read...

... I am now engaged to Karys Munns (whoo!)

"but you're so young!" - I hear you cry, well it is to be a long engagement so don't worry about that, and I feel like this is the right thing to do, Karys makes me happy, (no mean feat these days, I'm a bit up and down)

"but I wanted to marry you!" - I hear a smaller sub-set of you cry... Tough! (haha, sorry gals, I'm a one woman guy)

that is pretty much It. We are engaged, I love her and she loves me, etc tis all good stuff.


I proposed to her properly as well, for those of you who have asked me,

  1. took her to a park over looking the sea
  2. - on a sunny day
  3. got down on one knee
  4. and gave her the ring
(under no account should it be brought up that I originally proposed at 2am outside her flat in Farnham, after driving for 4 hours in a mad bid to win her back after she had decided I wasn't worth the heart-ache any more.

I only hope I can be worth her forgiveness.