The long awaited final part to the story is here!
I awoke early (11am) as the morning sun gently awoke me and I became aware of the horrible pain in my back from sleeping on a very "zippy" pair of jeans (I must have been very tired to have fallen asleep on these) and also more slowly becoming aware that I had to pee worse than I have ever needed to before in my entire life.
After evacuating my bladder (in the toilet), an ordeal that took the best part of 5minutes (it just wouldn't stop) I came back to Duffields room and listened to Karys read diary entries on our personal blog, followed by reading comics until the others arose at 1pm, we grabbed a quick breakfast. (I chose to go for an organic onion barge / falafel thing, which I thought to be the student-y looking option, it wasn't bad, I was pleasantly surprised) and then Me and Alan said our goodbyes to Duffield and caught the two buses back to the park and ride (with almost no waiting around at all between buses, the 1st one was late but we weren't in any kind of rush so it didn't really bother us) on the 1st bus we some "yuppies" wearing super dry shirts and shorts, those logoed slip flops and real live ray-bahn wayfarers, we decided that these people were not cool, and some how having real wayfarers made them 'even' less cool.
Upon getting to the car Me and Alan stuck in the "n-words be trippin'!" special mix tape and began the long journey home, it was only 4pm so we were confident we would be home in plenty of time to laze about shower etc and possibly even go out for a drink afterwards, the world was our oyster!
or so we thought
We turned left out of the Park and ride and due to the indicator flashing at an alarming rate we realise that I had left the rear light unplugged in the boot (the reason for this is that my car has a fault whereby if the light is left plugged in while the car is parked the licence plate light remains on all he time, flattening the battery) so after driving a few miles to find a layby we pulled in I unlocked the boot and plugged in the light. no fuss no muss. I closed the boot, and as I was doing so, saw the glint of my keys in the boot just as the lid slammed shut, I pressed the button to unlock the boot... nothing happened the button depressed and came back up but the boot did not open, it was locked.
"but how?" I hear you cry "you said you unlocked the boot in order to get in it to plug in the light!"
ah yes readers, but, it turns out that if you put the key in my boot and press the button the boot lid will open, but lock again the next time you close it, you have to rotate the key in a proper fashion to unlock the boot permanently (ah those clever Germans)
Alan and I set about taking the car to pieces to get into the boot (turns out the boot of my car is some kind of impenetrable fortress) and so after several phone calls to my parents (and shelling out £112) a repair/recovery bloke turned up (me and alan in the meantime (a few hours) watched iron man on Alans Laptop, as Alan said "Truly we live in the age of the grotesque!") and took apart the car in the same manner we had attempted earlier, but with the added success of removing the speaker covers, through these holes I was able to reach in and retrieve my keys (it was near 6pm at this point)
I took Alan back to the park and ride as he had to stay in bath to catch a train to Aberdeen due to the grounded flights due to that volcano... thing, and then Drove home (taking the odd route via Bristol city centre and Narnia) involving stopping for fuel twice, due to my car using a colossal amount of fuel. and driving the last few miles eating crisps in a frenzied state of hunger and desperation holding the pack between my legs as I drove.
I arrived home at 10pm ish needless to say I did not go out for a drink, I went to bed very very tired from the weekend.
Immediately after this weekend it seemed like the worst weekend that could have happened ever, nothing spectacularly good happened at any point, and some spectacularly bad things did happen, but in hindsight there were good times all the way through (regardless of spectacle) and the bad things were hilariously bad to the point where we could right 1/2 a bad American sitcom about them. All in all I had an amazing weekends with my original trio of friends. You guys are awesome.
Road trip anyone?
27 Apr 2010
26 Apr 2010
Trip to Bath (Part 2a)
so after the juggling and the drinking we got back into Duffield's house without to much messing about, and managed to lose a few hours just talking and listening to music (and a quick phonecall to my lovely fiancée) and then it was time for dinner from the "MEGA BITE BALLS" I had scampi and chips (the classic safe option) and Alan and Duffield had DONNER KEBABS DICKS. The sizes for these were as follows: 1) medium, 2) large and 3) Extra Large, we argued that this was essentially small medium and large re-named in a misleading fashion, so Alan ordered a large believing it to be a medium in disguise, Duffield ordered a medium (knowing otherwise)
It was the first time I have ever seen Alan not finish a meal. This merriment was followed by graffiti-ing every paper surface in the kitchen (hence the Mega Balls menu)
Rice Crispies became "Hitler Crispies" (it was later decided that Reich crispies would have been wittier, but we're not that smart) the Quaker oats box had a simple hitler 'tache drawn on the man, and nesquick became blitzkrieg (for some reason we were on a bit of a Nazi mood)
A poster for a black and white Italian cinema social poster also felt the wrath of our pens, where the man man of the poster was edited to a most formidable Alan shape, with uncanny similarity (the best part of this was it took people quite a long time to notice this after the blatant obviousness of the MEGA BALLS pamphlet.
We had been invited to a cocktail night across the... very small distance between Duffs house ans the house next door, but decided this was not for us, instead we went for the option of watching "REPO! the genetic opera" on Alan's Laptop. Mid way though we were joined by a fairly drunk Ollie but he remained fairly quiet, seemingly concentrating very hard on maintaining an upright seating position.
After the movie we decided to turn in, and after bullying Duffield for a while (we are so very good at it) by laying in his bed (his pet peeve) and making him go "rage" and hurt us in magical ways we didnt even know were possible (at one point I was in so much pain I grabbed Alans entire boob in one hand rather hard and was unable to let go)
"DUFFIELD MAAAD!"
we eventually settled on the floor and fell asleep (no-one vomited... well no-one that we were associated with, there may have been some vomit action on campus)
It was the first time I have ever seen Alan not finish a meal. This merriment was followed by graffiti-ing every paper surface in the kitchen (hence the Mega Balls menu)
Rice Crispies became "Hitler Crispies" (it was later decided that Reich crispies would have been wittier, but we're not that smart) the Quaker oats box had a simple hitler 'tache drawn on the man, and nesquick became blitzkrieg (for some reason we were on a bit of a Nazi mood)
A poster for a black and white Italian cinema social poster also felt the wrath of our pens, where the man man of the poster was edited to a most formidable Alan shape, with uncanny similarity (the best part of this was it took people quite a long time to notice this after the blatant obviousness of the MEGA BALLS pamphlet.
We had been invited to a cocktail night across the... very small distance between Duffs house ans the house next door, but decided this was not for us, instead we went for the option of watching "REPO! the genetic opera" on Alan's Laptop. Mid way though we were joined by a fairly drunk Ollie but he remained fairly quiet, seemingly concentrating very hard on maintaining an upright seating position.
After the movie we decided to turn in, and after bullying Duffield for a while (we are so very good at it) by laying in his bed (his pet peeve) and making him go "rage" and hurt us in magical ways we didnt even know were possible (at one point I was in so much pain I grabbed Alans entire boob in one hand rather hard and was unable to let go)
"DUFFIELD MAAAD!"
we eventually settled on the floor and fell asleep (no-one vomited... well no-one that we were associated with, there may have been some vomit action on campus)
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